November 2011 - Deb's Losing It!

? – Day 46

Today went fairly well. I’m rather impressed with my choices, considering I can’t part with the pie and we have like no veggies left in the house right now. I have a few small squash which I’m not even sure are any good anymore, a head of lettuce, and a few grape tomatoes I also probably need to toss out.

Tomorrow is bf’s Friday, and my shopping day. We’ll have a veggie delivery on Saturday morning. This weeks box has apples, pears, carrots, pak choy, lettuce, mustard greens, sweet peppers, potatoes, radicchio, radishes, thyme, and turnips. I can’t wait to get my mouth on those pears! And since I’d discovered how easy it is to make applesauce, I’ll probably cook those up one of the first days we have them. I’m not sure if I posted about the applesauce, but I’ll post it separately so you can see how easy it is make.

I had planned on getting up early and spending the morning outside playing with the dogs. There were 40 MPH winds blowing, dust flying everywhere, and even the dogs didn’t want to go outside. I didn’t want to get out of bed. It sounded like there was someone walking on the roof. At some point something on the back porch got jarred loose by the wind and it sounded like glass breaking everywhere. Just miserable weather no matter how you look at it.

Not much else to say today. My next weigh in is in 4 days. I’m sticking by not getting near the scale until then. I just don’t want to see it until its come down a bit.

Today’s eats.

Pork Roast   3.7
Ramen (1 Block)   7.8
Coffee w/Milk & Sugar   1.4
Coffee w/Milk & Sugar   1.4
Chicken Helper Whole Grain Honey Mustard Chicken (1.5 Cup)   9.1
Salad w/Raspberry Champagne Dressing   2.1
Marie Callendar’s Lemon Meringue Pie (1 Slice)   5.9

Total For Day 31.4

? – Day 45

Gonna keep this short. Still evading the scale, and was up and fully functional by 830 this morning. That was after getting up at 5 for a brief half hour and going back to bed. Spent a lot of time playing with the dogs out in the sun, trying to warm up, though it never got above 60° here today. The dogs enjoyed it and so did I- the playing, not the cold.

Food was doing reasonably well until bf suggested pie. Part of me is tempted to throw out the pie as suggested, but part of me can’t seem to throw away food. Ugh. At least its nearly gone now.

I did manage to do a little around the house today. I vacuumed enough to fill the canister up and nearly clog the tubes, and I managed after 3.5 hours of struggling to put a 39 piece 3-D puzzle together that I got for bf last Christmas that he never managed to put together.

Tomorrow I’ll hopefully be out of bed a bit earlier, and I’ll do some laundry.

Anyway, today’s eats.

Kraft Mac n Cheese (1 Box w/Sour Cream)   18.1
Coffee w/Milk & Sugar   1.4
Pork Roast   7.4
Pasta Roni Shells & White Cheddar   6.4
Carrots & Potatoes   0.7
Marie Callendar’s Lemon Meringue Pie (1 Slice)   5.9

Total For Day 39.9

? – Day 44

So, here I am after a hiatus of sorts from posting. Emotionally the last few days have been super crappy. I didn’t weigh myself, and I didn’t want to talk about anything. I still feel crappy, but I kind of owe you wonderful people an explanation of sorts since even when I can’t manage a post, you keep coming back to make sure I’m staying on track.

Am I staying on track? The last few days, not so much. Last week’s total numbers put me somewhere over my points allowances but since for the life of me I can’t remember what all I ate at that housewarming party Saturday night, I have no idea where I’m really at. And the scale… I’ll worry about the scale in a few days. For now though, I’m just going to work on staying on track for a few days before I step back on it again. Not ready to brave seeing those numbers right now with my current mental state.

For those of you unaware, I’m diagnosed with bipolar disorder, and social anxiety. My life is set to a strict routine for best results. Deviations from that routine create all kinds of issues for me. Exercise, which helps my mood immensely, has been sorely neglected for the last week, my hearts just not there right now.

Bf officially started day shift today, and I promise as soon as I get back on track and get my hours situated properly, I WILL get back to it. Right now though… ugh. I just don’t want to think about it and so I am making excuses. Next week though, I promise, okay? When I make my post Sunday night, you can all comment and say “So, Deb, how was the gym today?” and I had damn well better have a good answer. It was great, it was okay, it was f’ing terrible but I did it!

Anyway… I can’t wait until all of this pie is out of the house. We have a pie and a half of pumpkin still in the fridge, plus most of a lemon meringue. The bad thing is I seem to be the only person eating the lemon. The good thing is it has less points than the pumpkin. The less healthy leftovers are mostly gone now too. But I digress.

Today’s eats.

Turkey, Dark Meat (1/2 Cup)   3.0
Mrs. Cubbison’s Cube Stuffing (1/2 Cup)   2.5
Sweet Potatoes   0.6
Marie Callendar’s Lemon Meringue Pie (1 Slice)   5.9
Coffee w/Milk & Sugar   1.4
Coffee w/Milk & Sugar   1.4
Hamburger Helper Lasagna (2 Cups)   12.8

Total For Day 27.6 of 28

Back on track today. In a few minutes I’m going to head out to the store and pick up a few things for bf’s lunch the next few days. Right now though, I’m going to go answer the comments you guys have left me over the last few days.

Day 42 & Day 43

Playing catch up for now… I’ll do a proper post and reply to comments tomorrow.

Saturday

Mrs. Cubbison’s Cube Stuffing (1/2 Cup)   2.5
Turkey, White Meat (3 Oz.)   3.6
Applesauce   3.0
Sweet Potato   1.3
Marie Callendar’s Lemon Meringue Pie (1 Slice)   4.5
Chicken Breast (Grilled)   3.5
Guessed points for random nibbling and desserts   20.0

Total For Day 38.4

Sunday

Applesauce   3.0
Marie Callendar’s Pumpkin Pie (1 Slice)   7.6
Marie Callendar’s Lemon Meringue Pie (1 Slice)   4.5
Turkey Drumstick   7.1
Pasta w/Alfredo Sauce & Chicken   15.4

Total For Day 37.6